Tales From The Veil: The Miracle of Marriage

Another “Tales from the Veil” story is brought to us by Rachel Kitt who is the Executive Assistant at the Jewish Federation of San Diego County. She loves to run competitively and for pleasure, bake gluten-free sweets, and hang out with her hubby, a San Diego attorney. After eloping to the island of Oahu in December of 2007, Rachel finds herself looking back on her Jewish destination wedding adventure and laughing out loud. Her story will show you how any bride can take wedding disasters and turn them into wedded bliss. Lemons into lemonade. Grapes into Manischewitz. We’ll be hearing more from Rachel as a regular contributor to The Wedding Yentas.

So you’re married (or engaged, woo hoo!) and Chanukah is literally breathing down your neck. I mean, it’s Monday and we light the first candle on Tuesday night! Whether you have been with your special someone for a long long time or a short time, holidays do seem a little different now, don’t they? You and your spouse may have many reasons to get lazy with gift-giving. Perhaps it’s, “Well, we have the same bank account, so why bother spending our money on a present?” Or maybe it’s the “I’ve already given him ___ gifts (fill in the blank with a big number) over the past ___ years/months/holidays (fill in the blank with an appropriate number) so I’m exempt this year, right? RIGHT?”

Ladies, I’m here to tell you to stop with the excuses. As a woman who has never given her husband even one Chanukah gift over the past ten years, I’m going to give you some advice, and this year, I’m even planning to take my own.

In comfortable and wonderful relationships, sometimes we get apathetic. It’s like “Eh, another birthday? So soon? Didn’t we have December last year?” But here’s the thing. Close your eyes. Walk down Memory Lane. Think back to your favorite Chanukah warm-fuzzy when mom/dad/Uncle Pete/Grandma Dolly/Some Other Fabulous Relative gave you that special gift that made you go “Yessss!” Remember how good it felt? It felt good because you knew that they listened to you. They remembered and they made special effort to buy you the one thing that meant a lot to you.

So why not do that for your main squeeze? So what that we aren’t kids anymore? Who cares that we have bills to pay and share bank accounts? Part of the romance is the surprise and the “Oh I didn’t think you were listening or remembered!” I promise it’ll be fun.

So unlike the past ten Chanukahs where I’ve been too lazy, too cheap, and too indifferent to buy The Mr. a present, this year I’m going all-out. That’s right. This year, I’m doing it up big: one gift for each night of Chanukah. Each gift is special. It’s something he either has on his wishlist, or something that shows him that I pay attention. I listen. I care. Winning!

We may not go out for Valentine’s Day dinner in February, or take a special trip for our five-year anniversary, but this year, I’m shooting to make this Chanukah special for my husband. He deserves it. And nothing makes a marriage stronger than a happy husband.

Happy Chanukah!