I am a newly engaged woman! I have entered the ranks of ladies who have found their one and only, ladies who are committing themselves to one person and one person only, and yes, ladies who wear sparkly diamond rings on their left hand! It’s surreal!
When it became clear to me that my boyfriend – I mean FIANCE! – was the one and we started having discussions about making it official in the near future, I did what any normal, self-respecting future bride would do: got on the Internet and started doing research! I started scouring wedding blogs (including our dear Wedding Yentas), casually made mental notes at every wedding we attended, and of course, made my secret “I Do!” Pinterest board. I was ready! Bring on the rock!
My boyfriend – I mean FIANCE! #oy – proposed two weeks ago onstage at our regular monthly comedy show in front of 200 people (if you are so inclined, you are welcome to view the video here)! He loves the spotlight and I love being the center of attention so it was perfect. After the ring was safely on my finger and I had said “Yes!” it was time to start letting everyone know the good news. We started calling and texting people immediately, as I had known we would. And in came the “congrats!” and the “woo-hoos!” and the “mazel tovs!” We posted a picture of us up on Facebook and within 24 hours, it had more than 500 likes. #kindacrazy
For months, I had thought about and dreamed about how I would feel after we got engaged. Happy? Joyful? Over the moon excited? Of course! I love my boyfriend – FIANCE! #imtheworst – more than anything. He is truly the yin to my yang, the frosting to my cupcake, and the absolute best guy I know. The fact that I get to marry him and have him as my husband for the rest of my life fills me with happiness.
But here’s what I wasn’t prepared for. I wasn’t prepared for the massive feeling of “overwhelmed-ness” that settled in a couple of days later. The phone calls kept coming! The emails poured in! Everyone was asking if we had chosen a date yet – and we hadn’t even been engaged for 28 hours! Cue the anxiety…
I’m a girl who loves hosting get-togethers and parties and grew up in a home where I refer to my mama as “Martha Jew-art” because of her amazing abilities as a hostess, but I knew nothing – nothing! – about throwing a wedding. The thought and preparation and attention to detail that go into planning a wedding are extraordinary, and I didn’t even know where to begin. For someone like me who prides herself on her planning abilities and lives and breathes by her day planner, this feeling was disconcerting and quite frankly, uncomfortable. I had a crazy, goody, huge smile plastered on my face, but inside my thoughts were swirling like a crazy person.
And then, I happened to bump into a friend and former colleague in the elevator at work. She squealed, I squealed, we hugged, she grabbed my finger and oohed and ahhed over the ring. And then she said something that instantly made me feel better:
“You doing okay? Two days after I got engaged I had a massive panic attack. It’s totally normal.”
I can’t even begin to tell you all the feeling of relief that coursed through my body. None of the blogs mention this. No wedding magazine covers it. I had been feeling like I was the only one who ever felt this way!
After work that day I went home and kissed my FIANCE – there, I did it! – and we snuggled on the couch. We ordered in dinner from our favorite takeout place and watched a rerun on the Food Network. I felt better not only knowing that I wasn’t alone in my nervousness, but also just better knowing that no matter what, I had my partner by my side. Anxiety about picking a date? Trouble finding the perfect venue? We are going to get through it and we’re going to do it together.
So my advice to brides-to-be – though I have only been engaged for two weeks and therefore have no real business doling out tips – is to take a deep breath. The phone calls and the emails and the texts might seem overwhelming, but it’s because you and your fiancée are loved beyond measure. The thought of planning a wedding celebration might be daunting, but it’s the best kind of hard work. And no matter what, as long as the two of you have each other, everything is going to be fine.
No… I take it back.
Everything is not going to be fine. Everything is going to be amazing.
Jordan Silverman is a newly engaged bride-to-be who works in nonprofit marketing & communications by day and blogs at Queen of LA by night. A native of Los Angeles and a proud Arizona Wildcat for life, Jordan has always loved to write and host fun events, so it goes without saying that she is very excited for wedding planning! Jordan lives with her fiancee, Rami, in Brentwood, California. When they are not watching reruns of Diners, Drive-Ins, & Dives, attending alt-comedy shows, cooking, traveling, or watching movies, they’re dreaming about their future purchase of a French bulldog puppy.