The Wedding Yentas™ | A Guide for the Jewish Bride!™

5 Things I Learned About Weddings From Planning My Own

Alison — Thu, 23 May 2013 08:00:57 +0000

This weekend, Mr. Yenta and I will be celebrating our FIVE YEAR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY! That’s, like, half a decade. Five years ago at this time, we were bustling around picking up caramel apples from an L.A.-based snack supply company and freaking out about the shortage at Target of gusseted clear bags to contain them. I cried really hard when Mr. Yenta and my dad played a joke on me and told me they’d already put the stickers with our logo on the bags before I could even see them. Nerves were high. It was crunch time and details were quickly leaving my control and soon entering into the hands of others. I did not take that well.

Looking back at this snapshot of time just a few sunrises and sunsets away from the big “mazel tov,” I giggle to think how much those things mattered to me. These days, I throw a party if I get a spare minute just to shave my legs. But hey, that’s mommyhood with Baby Yenta and you know what they say… First comes love, then comes marriage…

And here we are.

Photo by Eight20 Photography

I’m not claiming to know everything (although, I AM a Yenta…), and I know that everyone’s situations are different, but I’d like to think that five years later, as a recent-ish enough Jewish bride, I can share with you five important nuggets of wisdom about wedding planning and marriage.

Things have changed in the videography business since your bat mitzvah. The montage with the fade outs and mosaic transitions worked for you and your brace-face dressed in a little sailor dress from 1995, but that’s not going to fly for documenting your bridal beauty in a Monique on your wedding day. I’m all about keeping the vendors in the family, but if your videographer or other mitzvah vendor hasn’t taken their business or craft to the next level in the 10ish years since they were originally hired, you may need to alter your expectations and realize that the result won’t be like the others you’ve seen blogged or Facebooked in recent years. And, a more likely scenario, you may have to look beyond those vendors and start from scratch. Things have changed in the events biz since Clinton was president, ya know?
Choose your bridal party based on your life as it stands in the moment you’re getting married. OK, that’s a confusing sentence, but stay with me. Select the people you want by your side from the pool of people you are close with RIGHT NOW. Not who you used to be close with. Not who you want to be close with. Not who you should be close with. Who is special to you NOW? Those are the people who should be part of your wedding day inner circle. It may change and years later, there may be some individuals who are no longer in your life. Time happens. But don’t use nostalgia as a method for choosing your maids and men. Instead, think of those you love most and who currently have your back.
Whether it’s a groom or a co-bride, let your partner be involved! You’re not the only one getting married here, sister! Allow your love’s opinions to be heard and discussed. You may not always agree, and that’s OK as it won’t be the last time, but it’s important to remember it’s not only YOUR wedding. You’re not marrying yourself. You’re marrying another person. Encourage involvement and even if it’s declined — hey, weddings aren’t everyone’s ~~obsession~~ cup o’ tea — at least keep your partner in the loop with updates and tidbits of information. Hey, guess what. Marriage is exactly the same way and that’s, like, forever.
Don’t get too focused on what other brides are doing. Or what Pinterest suggests you do. Or what wedding blogs tell you you should do. (well, except for The Wedding Yentas. Always follow what The Wedding Yentas says). It’s so easy to get wrapped up in current trends and styles. You know who knows you best? Yeah, you. So, get inspiration. Enjoy new ideas. But stay true to yourself. I know, that sounds super cheesy, like something you’d hear at a 7th grade drugs education assembly, but remember who’s actually getting married. It’s you and the person you chose to spend forever with, not that super skinny shiksa model who’s showcasing a toga wedding dress in a Grecian styled shoot. Educating yourself is good. Veering away from your own personal style and values is not. Find ideas and take advice, and then apply it to your own taste.
Never stop holding hands. Or staying by each others’ sides. Or making eye contact. You’ll never get these wedding day moments back. Try to stay together for the whole day. Remain connected during the ceremony as you soak up the words from your rabbi, cantor, or other officiant. Hold hands and squeeze along to the prayers or music. At your reception, make a pact to travel the room as one. Experience the same event together so you never miss a beat. Keep this theme going throughout your marriage. A kiss goodnight. Every night. Even if you’re mad. It’s hard to stay angry when you have to exchange a peck. A mad kiss is better than no kiss. Kisses make people happy. And that’s how you do happily ever after.

I’m drinking my own Kool Aid here. L’chaim to that. And happy anniversary to my love. Mazels on another year in the books. And mazels to all of you joining our club.

Photo by Eight20 Photography

Roaring 20s Wedding Styled Shoot

Alison — Wed, 22 May 2013 08:00:21 +0000

This “Roaring Love” styled shoot was dreamed up by Shelley Cameron, the owner of Better Half Weddings & Events, Inc., after she was inspired by the predicted 2013 wedding trend of styles behind Mad Men, The Great Gatsby, and a chic spin on classic 1920s and 1930s style.

In Shelley’s words: With a background as a bridal stylist, I knew I wanted to borrow gowns & a flashy headpiece from Patricia South’s Wedding Center, because they’re known for carrying designers like Sue Wong that would nail the glitz & glamour flapper after-party dress I had imagined. It was our intention to bring the classic novel, The Great Gatsby, to life through a speakeasy bar with crystal decanters and whiskey tasting, a romantic dessert table decked out in 1920s flare, a cigar & scotch lounge, and ending with a bride and groom jazz dance off.

I loved the idea of bringing the Roaring Twenties to life here in South Florida. When people think of South Florida they automatically think of palm trees, white sand, and turquoise waters. I really wanted to bring the sophistication and class of the 1920s right here in our own backyard, without the tropical twist. I immediately thought of the perfect park, which happened to be nestled within my aunt’s neighborhood in Boca Raton called Charleston Place. The architectural details within the community are just stunning. You feel like you’ve stepped back in time and have been transported out of Florida; surrounded by South Carolina charm, hanging lanterns, fancy gazebos, and brick driveways, the community is stunning.

Photographer: Traci Burke Photography
Vintage Pieces: Amazing Grace Vintage Rentals
Event Planner: Better Half Weddings & Events, Inc.
Bakery: Cloud 9 Bakery
Hair Stylist: Hair by Alonso
Floral Designer: Julia Rohde Designs
Invitation Designer: Llorente Design
Makeup Artist: Make Me Up Artistry, Carissa Michelle
Dress Store: Patricia South’s Wedding Center

Submitted via Two Bright Lights

Go Hug Your Mom

Alison — Tue, 21 May 2013 08:00:54 +0000

Ten years ago, before I was a bride and before I even met Mr. Yenta, my mom turned 50 and was in the middle of treatment for breast cancer. I was only a college student with a zillion other concerns on my mind and not even at home to be by her side or fully understand the stresses of watching a loved one go through cancer. I knew she would beat it and she did. For that, I am so grateful.

Five years ago, my family participated in the Revlon Run/Walk for Women’s Cancers in Los Angeles celebrating my mom’s victory!

Things have changed a lot in those ten years: I graduated college, I went on lots of ridiculous dates, I met and married my wonderful husband, I started and ended at a few different companies, I started The Wedding Yentas, and I had a daughter of my own. Thank goodness she beat that cancer biatch and she’s around to be able to witness all of these milestones.

Today is her 60th birthday!

I think back to one of my main milestones, my wedding, and try to think how it would have been different to experience it without a Jewish mother. Who would’ve nagged me to make sure I bring my Spanx to each dress fitting? Who would’ve looked over each contract with a careful eye to make sure that my guests were getting enough to eat? Who would’ve told me I was ridiculous for harping on dumb things? Who would’ve been so, so, so generous with shower gifts or her time at vendor meetings? I know how lucky I was to have my mom so involved in my wedding and am thankful to have had that experience with her.

My mom and me the morning of my bridal shower. It was such a fun experience with her!

My mom takes my arm as we are about to walk down the aisle at the wedding rehearsal and we got gussied up for the rehearsal dinner later that night!

I also know that not every bride is in my position to have her mama by her side, so my wish is for every bride to have a special mom-like woman along for the ride who will take on the duties and role of a Mother of the Bride. Whether it’s an aunt, a grandma, a best friend, or a cousin, women should have a mentor; You should be able to count on someone wise, who loves you, but is just objective and fearless enough to play a good round of Devil’s Advocate/Jewish Mother.

So on her big birthday (omg she’s going to kill me for this), I want to wish my mom a happy day and year ahead, and thank her for kicking cancer’s ass ten years ago and being part of my life for the past decade. There will only be more exciting things to share together and while they may not be as beautiful or consuming as a wedding (you SO know what I mean, ladies!), I know the importance of my mother’s role in my life and I hope all of you Yentas also have a lady you can hug who’s been just as important during your wedding planning or other big life moments.

For the past few weeks, my mom and dad have been jetsetting to celebrate another big event; not only is my mom turning 60 today, but next month, they celebrate 40 years of marriage. It was their wedding album that gave me the wedding obsession bug, and, hence, The Wedding Yentas as we know it. And while they’ve been off galavanting through some of the world’s most beautiful cities, I’ve missed her! Chatting through opposite time zones makes it tricky to catch up, and Baby Yenta has definitely been without her Mimi for far too long. She comes back home today (Happy birthday from TSA! Here’s an intrusive pat down that may as well be a pap smear) and I’m so excited to celebrate this big birthday with her.

Thanks for being born, Mom.

Important moments from my wedding day with my mom by my side.
Photos by Eight20 Photography

Chuppah-ly Ever After by Beverly Harris

Alison — Mon, 20 May 2013 08:00:03 +0000

Besides reviewing beautiful wedding submissions on a daily basis and helping brides with tips that could help save them from breakdown on the best day of their lives, I also love meeting new friends in the wedding industry. Beverly Harris is as classy as it gets and she sure knows a thing or two about her town, and coincidentally, her name twin, Beverly Hills. She’s also a skilled wedding planner and adores the opportunity to work with on Jewish weddings. So between working high-end events in Beverly Hills and managing the behind-the-scenes of Jewish weddings, Beverly is well-versed in chuppah design and beauty. Today she shares with us a few words about her knowledge and love for the Jewish wedding canopy!

As a wedding planner, I’ve worked on lots of Jewish weddings. One of my favorite things about a Jewish wedding is to see the bride and groom standing under the chuppah. According to the Jewish view of marriage, the purpose of marriage is both companionship and procreation. The chuppah is a marriage canopy that symbolizes the couple’s first home together.

According to many authorities the chuppah is a metaphor for groom’s house, or at any rate an actual room or building other than the bride’s parental home. By entering it, the woman is declaring her official independence from her family and accepting the protection of her husband.

I believe the chuppah is the most distinctive feature of any Jewish wedding. It actually sets the tone to the beginning of a beautiful wedding. A chuppah can be made of any material. Silk or quilted chuppot are increasingly common, and can often be customized or personalized to suit the couple’s unique interests and occupations.

These days though, chuppah design is usually more flexible, from flowers to birch branches and natural vines an so much more. The decoration possibilities are endless. The important thing is to have four secure poles and a canopy overhead. The chuppah is open on all four sides so to symbolize the welcoming of family and friends to the couple’s new home and lives together.

I’d like to share some photos of beautiful chuppahs that I think are super impressive. Happy chuppah-ing!

Wildflowers Photography

Orange Turtle Photography

Norris Photo

Guest Post by: Beverly Harris Weddings & Events

{Real Jewish Weddings} Los Angeles, CA

Alison — Thu, 16 May 2013 08:00:38 +0000

This outdoor/indoor affair was filled with gorgeous florals, unique furniture and all different shades of plum! Stephanie and Dan’s first look was right at the Sephardic Temple entrance, and then they captured some special moments in the courtyard. All of the beautiful bouquets, boutonnieres and flower arrangements were done by the bride’s floral company, Seed Floral. It was a gorgeous event, including a beautiful Moroccan outfit change and dancing and celebrating into the night!

Mazel tov, Stephanie and Dan!

Photography: Chaffin Cade Photography
Cake: Unique Pastry
Catering: Pat’s Catering
Venue: Sephardic Temple
Florals, Design & Coordinaton: Seed Floral
Day-of Coordination: Michelle Rodriguez-Becker and Staci Bishopp
Furniture Rentals: Fresh Wata Rentals
Hair & Make-up: Fiore Beauty
Officiant: Rabbi Ari Lucas
Photo Booth: Happy Foto Booth
Linens: Chiavari Chair Rentals
Videography: Digital DVD Designs