Thankful for A Thank You Note Guide

Dear Distant Relative I Don’t Know Who My Mom Insisted We Invite,
Thank you for the ugly vase we did not register for and will never be able to use in our house. As a young newlywed couple, it would have been great if you could have gifted something from our registry that we pre-selected or just written a check (preferably with at least two zeroes at the end). I’m sure I’ll never see you again, but I guess my husband and I hope to see you soon???
Love, but only because we can’t write “Sincerely,”
Bride and Groom

How many times have you wanted to write a thank you note that reads like that one? Have you ever felt this way when receiving a gift, whether it was wedding-related or not? Perhaps your engagement party or shower included guests you’d never even heard of and you’re stuck about how to make your note of appreciation sound sincere. Maybe you got a really ugly gift and you’re not sure how to respond. Or maybe — a better problem — you got a very generous check and you don’t know how to adequately and appropriately thank Uncle Moneybags.

These are all normal traces of anxiety while scribing away at thank you notes. Most women see them as a chore, and don’t even get started on trying to get your other half involved. Most guys want nothing to do with them. But the fact is, thank you notes are necessary. It’s just plain rude not to write them. So avoiding them altogether does not help your cause. Different sources of etiquette offer different due dates for sending thank you notes. We strongly believe that you have three months from after your wedding to send a note of gratitude. Keep in mind, though, that wedding gifts might trickle in prior to your wedding date. That’s okay — send out your thank you notes as you receive the gifts! This helps you cut down on the work to be done after your wedding. The three months do not apply to events like engagement parties or showers because, most likely, your guest list will be smaller so you’ll have fewer notes to write. Try to shoot for a month after the event.

But what to say without sounding like a broken record? That’s where our new favorite guide to thank you notes comes in! Stacey Agin Murray, owner of Organized Artistry and author of Monday’s guest piece, has written and published a tool you should hold very close to your heart… and writing desk!

Stacey created a 7-step organized system for writing thank you notes, saving her and her husband from constantly wondering, “What should I write?!” She was able to use this system to write notes that sounded personable, sincere, and appreciative. We’ve reviewed the system she developed — now published for you to use! — and we agree that it’s helpful and goal oriented. With sample letters and a guide that includes thank you note writing 101, you’ll feel good about sending your guests a personalized note that thanks them for their gift, time, and thoughtfulness. Stacey even includes ideas about what to say other than just “thank you.” She encourages you to write about a favorite memory with the individual at the party/shower/wedding or to reference an upcoming get together. And if you receive your 17th seder plate, well, you’ve got to keep it fresh for each recipient. This allows you to sound like a real human instead of a thank you note-writing factory. In fact, Stacey even received thank you notes… for her thank you notes! There’s no reason you can’t receive the same since, after all, thank you notes are much more fun to open up than, say, bills, bills, bills!

Stacey’s book, 7 Steps to an Organized Wedding Thank You Note, can be all yours if you enter to win this week’s thrilling giveaway! You will feel the cloud of stress disappear from your sky when you flip through the book and realize that writing thank you notes doesn’t have to be the end of your wedding honeymoon phase. In fact, think of thank you notes as an opportunity to extend your bridal experience as you revisit some of your favorite people and their generous gifts. And for the gifts you feel a little “meh” about, well, Stacey offers you sample letters to guide you through those tricky ones.


So, now it’s time for you to win it!

Leave a comment below and tell us your biggest thank you note trick or pet peeve. We all have ’em! The giveaway starts Thursday, February 3rd and runs through Sunday night, February 6th at 11:59 PST. You do not have to be Jewish or a current bride in order to win as the sweepstakes is open to all eligible people in the United States. Winner will be announced on Monday!

  • Shelly says:

    What a HELP! I can tell when I get a thank you note that is not personal from the individual, and I think this guide should help people overcome this. Neat idea.

  • Rachel says:

    I’m a fan of coming up with standard text for my thank you notes and then inserting one special line to personalize it. That means I can power through lots of thank you cards because I don’t have to sit and think about what to write for each person.

  • Diana says:

    Thank you notes are sucha chore but writing them is better than jsut not getting a gift at all I guess.

  • Kelsey says:

    This would be a good resource next to my other wedding planning books and gift trackers.

  • Shana says:

    I actually like writing thank you notes! Still, this is a good checklist in case of a brain freeze.

  • Julie says:

    Don’t get me started! My pet peeve with TY notes is when the gift is not acknowledged by indicating what it is—the note just says, TY for your gift. That is just plain rude and inconsiderate. I enjoy reading a TY note that adds a personal touch about the gift to the recipient. That’s what I always try to do. The gift giver most likely put a lot of thought and time into the gift selection. Good topic, Wedding Yentas.

  • Ilene says:

    I have a number of pet peeves when it comes to receiving Thank Yous, but this is my biggest. If I am sending a check to you and am not able to come to your wedding, don’t write the dollar amount that I gave in the tahnk you card. It’s almost like you are insulting that I gave your $50 even though you didn’t have to pay for me and my date to attend. We really weren’t that great of friends to begin with and you aren’t invited to my wedding, so you’re welcome for the no-hassel check!

  • Sabrina says:

    I could use this!! Thanx!

  • Lindsay says:

    I’m still waiting for a thank you card from a bar mitzvah boy from 7 months ago. I think I should win this and send this guide as a hint to his parents! Rude!!

  • Debbie says:

    Thank you notes are annoying but it feels good when they’re done.