Category Archives: Planning

Chuppah-ly Ever After by Beverly Harris

Besides reviewing beautiful wedding submissions on a daily basis and helping brides with tips that could help save them from breakdown on the best day of their lives, I also love meeting new friends in the wedding industry. Beverly Harris is as classy as it gets and she sure knows a thing or two about her town, and coincidentally, her name twin, Beverly Hills. She’s also a skilled wedding planner and adores the opportunity to work with on Jewish weddings. So between working high-end events in Beverly Hills and managing the behind-the-scenes of Jewish weddings, Beverly is well-versed in chuppah design and beauty. Today she shares with us a few words about her knowledge and love for the Jewish wedding canopy!

As a wedding planner, I’ve worked on lots of Jewish weddings. One of my favorite things about a Jewish wedding is to see the bride and groom standing under the chuppah. According to the Jewish view of marriage, the purpose of marriage is both companionship and procreation. The chuppah is a marriage canopy that symbolizes the couple’s first home together.

According to many authorities the chuppah is a metaphor for groom’s house, or at any rate an actual room or building other than the bride’s parental home. By entering it, the woman is declaring her official independence from her family and accepting the protection of her husband.

I believe the chuppah is the most distinctive feature of any Jewish wedding. It actually sets the tone to the beginning of a beautiful wedding. A chuppah can be made of any material. Silk or quilted chuppot are increasingly common, and can often be customized or personalized to suit the couple’s unique interests and occupations.

These days though, chuppah design is usually more flexible, from flowers to birch branches and natural vines an so much more. The decoration possibilities are endless. The important thing is to have four secure poles and a canopy overhead. The chuppah is open on all four sides so to symbolize the welcoming of family and friends to the couple’s new home and lives together.

I’d like to share some photos of beautiful chuppahs that I think are super impressive. Happy chuppah-ing!

Wildflowers Photography

Wildflowers Photography

Orange Turtle Photography

Orange Turtle Photography

Norris Photo

Norris Photo

chuppah-norris-photo

Norris Photo

Guest Post by: Beverly Harris Weddings & Events

Your Futuristic Wedding

My husband and I went to an amazing wedding of our closest friends this past weekend. It was the epitome of lovely and as usual, weddings put us in a nostalgic mood for our own wedding, which was almost five years ago. We were talking about what our wedding would be like if we were getting married NOW; as in, in 2013 instead of 2008.

While our wedding was one of the best days of our lives, would it be different if it were being planned now? Yes. In 2008, it was perfect, so I’m not regretting much of anything. But it’s interesting to think about what the aesthetics might be like, who the vendors would have been, and the make up of the guest list in our fake 2013 wedding.

Take the guest list, for example. There are people in our wedding photos who are no longer as close to us for various reasons (changes in life, distance, etc.). More importantly, there are lots of people MISSING from the photos because we hadn’t met or reconnected yet. One reason we wish we could do it all over again is so that we could include those people who, just five years ago, were not present in our inner circle of wedding guests. We’ll make sure they make the list for the 50th anniversary party in 2058. They’ll arrive by flying car, right?

Photo booths were just coming into play in 2008. I wish I would have had one! I had no idea it was a “thing!” And now that I get the privilege of reviewing hundreds of weddings a year for publication on The Wedding Yentas, I now feel inspired to wear colorful peep toe heels at my fake future wedding! I wore white sandal heels and looking back, I wish I’d worn a pop of color on my shoe. There are vendors I’ve connected with since that I would have hired because I’ve come to love them as people as well as their work. Little things would have been different. Other things would stay the same. Loved my venue, for example (Spanish Hills Country Club) and I’m still obsessed with our florist (Happy Flowers).

When it comes down to it, your wedding day is really a snapshot in time. It’s a living museum of who’s important to you and what your style is like. Embrace the timeless traditions you will uphold and make your mark to represent you and your partner as a couple. Your wedding will be the most perfect reflection of you … ON YOUR WEDDING DAY. You’ll fast forward years later and find that things would be different if you were doing it all over again and that’s OK! Make your wedding day the best version of life as you know it. You’ll have fun reminiscing about what you’d change and what you’d keep in years to come.

So all this is to say: Put your heart and soul into your wedding — that’s fine! But don’t fret about making sure you’re making all the right choices to represent your lifetime as a couple. In a handful of matters, trends will be different, priorities will change, and your lives will be going in unpredictable directions. Care only about the moment of now.

The only thing that really stays the same over time is who you kiss goodnight at the end of the day.

This photo would have been more adorable if I'd been wearing a hot pink shoe! (photo by: Eight20 Photography)

This photo would have been more adorable if I’d been wearing a hot pink shoe! (photo by: Eight20 Photography)

  • marzipan says:

    A fellow blogger here, found your site via Drupal,
    and I have a piece of advice: write more. Honestly, you seem like
    you’re tailoring the entire article around the video. It’s evident you know a lot, so why
    not use your knowledge to write something more substantial and keep the video as something secondary (if there at all)?

A Groom With A View: Anonymous Groom Shares Wedding Day Reflections

groom“The Anonymous Groom” is a newlywed who was happy to be involved in the wedding plans for his December 2012 wedding. He and his wife enjoy traveling all over the world, hosting their friends in their new home, and going out to try new restaurants and food. He works in the banking industry and is a big sports fan.

It had been 362 days since I proposed. The last year had been really busy but I really enjoyed planning our wedding with my fiancée. I was definitely a little more involved than most grooms. I took on a lot of the stress of getting everything together and in addition to the wedding planning, also started a new job and moved to a new house during our engagement. Why not do everything at the same time? Now the time had finally come to get on a plane to Chicago, where my now-wife is from, to kick off our wedding weekend.

Seeing family and friends leading up to the wedding was really fun for me. I am close with my family and have a lot of loyal friends so being surrounded by all of my favorite people was incredible. It was something I looked forward to throughout the year. In fact, my fiancée and I flew to Chicago with 17 of my family and my parents’ friends. Just being around everyone gave me a lot of energy and made me feel content. My dad’s friend, Mark, even got the flight attendants to make an announcement that we were getting married. I’m sure I turned bright red.

Our wedding was in December in Chicago so everyone was in a festive and excited mood. Michigan Avenue and the rest of the city were decorated and lit up for the holidays, and there was a seasonal chill in the air. I could feel everyone’s enthusiasm being there. For the two days before the wedding, it flurried, adding to the wintry and festive atmosphere. The night before the wedding, we had a big rehearsal dinner, and it was a great way to kick off the festivities. There were some touching speeches, and I was really emotional and tried to hold back my tears. I was surprised that I was only able to consume one slice of deep dish pizza that night!

The night before the wedding, being traditional, my then-fiancée kicked me out of our hotel room. One of my groomsman and his fiancée were nice enough to let me crash on a cot in their room. I slept okay but didn’t sleep that well. I was excited, not nervous, and I wanted to be in the moment on my wedding day.

I remember going to my parents’ hotel room in the early morning after I had something light to eat for breakfast. I came into the room, saw my mom, and we both just broke down, overcome by the emotion of the day and that feeling that time goes by too fast. I remember embracing my mom for a few minutes, reminiscing about lots of good times over the years growing up. I think I got most of the emotion and tears out at that point. I felt a lot of emotions throughout the day, but kept my composure for the most part.

My bride and I were going to have our “first look” sometime in the early afternoon. Seeing my fiancée in that white dress for the first time was an unforgettable moment. I also really enjoyed witnessing the father of the bride seeing her for the first time. My fiancée and her dad are really close so it was special for me to see them share a few moments together.

It was a cold but clear day so my wife and I decided to take off around the city with our photographer, videographer, and their crews. For me, it felt like we were the only two people in the world. I felt like we were celebrities at our own photo shoot. We got some great shots in front of some of Chicago’s gorgeous architectural landmarks and also got some starker shots in city’s Loop. By the way, our photos are amazing.

You know how in the movies there’s that scene or that moment where the groom has cold feet? Well, that didn’t happen for me at all on my wedding day. When it came time to walk down the aisle, I was very calm, comfortable, and contented. I knew I was in love, that I was marrying the right person, and that I wanted her to be my partner-in-crime for the rest of my life.

It felt wonderful to walk down the floral-lined aisle with my dad on one side and my mom on the other. It was also really special to watch my bride walk down the aisle with her parents, seeing their joy and happiness. During the ceremony and the reception, I tried to be in the moment and tried to capture everything in my mind so that I would never forget it. It was a challenge for me because every time I got too into the moment and really thought “wow, this is my wedding day,” I got pretty emotional.

Incorporating Jewish traditions into our ceremony was particularly special to me. We got married under a chuppah made with my grandfather’s tallit, we circled each other, and I broke the glass. I felt a genuine connection to my family, culture, and religion, knowing that my parents, grandparents, and ancestors followed the same customs at their weddings.

The party was just awesome and it went by just way too fast. Our band played their hearts out from the Horah all the way through the last song. They really made the party and brought a ton of energy to the room.

And then, just like that, the night was over. I suppose nothing good can last forever. I wouldn’t have changed a thing about it though. At least we still had our honeymoon to look forward to.

Circle of Love

While at dinner with friends who are just two weeks away from their wedding, we were talking about the final details of their ceremony and they couldn’t decide on the ritual of circling.

In case you’re not in the inner circle and you’re confused, the casual and informal term of “circling” refers to the tradition of the bride literally walking in circles around the groom during the chuppah ceremony.

Sandor Welsh Photography

Sandor Welsh Photography

Some do it. Some don’t. Some do a variation on the circling.

Still deciding what you want to do? Maybe a little more info will help shape your decision on circling. It’s an Ashkenazi tradition and has been interpreted the bride creating seven or three circles around the groom. Seven is usually considered to be more traditional. As with most concepts in Jewish religion and culture, there are many reasons and symbols for this tradition. I imagine a bunch of really smart rabbis sitting around a table filled with lox and bagels and caawww-fee all discussing the traditions and trying to agree on one explanation and then finally one stands up, bangs his fist on the table, and says “Fah-get about it! Let ‘em pick! They all sound good, yes? Of course yes!” and then it’s up to the people. So, here we are, with a few different explanations, open to interpretation depending on your movement and level of observance.

So, the reason for the circles? In the book of Jeremiah, it is said that “a woman encompasses a man.” Therefore, she literally encompasses him, physically, by walking in a circular border around him.

Another explanation is that by circling her groom a number of times, a bride creates a sort of invisible wall to make a sacred space for them in the chuppah.

Also, numbers play a big part in Jewish traditions, and seven happens to be a biggie. Seven is the number of days of creation and, in theory, the couple is creating a new world together. Also, the phrase “a man takes a wife” is mentioned seven times in the Torah. Another one I’ve heard is that Joshua circled the walls of Jericho seven times to take it down, and, therefore, by the bride circling her groom, she is taking down any walls between them.

Three circles are considered to be a more reform practice. And again, it’s a numbers thing. God says “I will betrothe thee unto me” three times in reference to himself and Israel. So some couples decide three circles are enough and like the derivation of that number.

Then, there’s what more modern couples are doing: they’ll take turns circling the other an even amount of tmes — so either 3 or 1 each, and then circle each other at the same time for the final round. This is seen as more equitable practice since modern couples treat their marriage, and therefore the chuppah ceremony, as an equal partnership. That is, it’s not just the bride making the groom her world, but the groom making the bride his world as well.

Talk to your rabbi, cantor, or officiant about the option that would be best for you two and your system of beliefs. You may even choose to skip it altogether. But if you do end up circling, some tips: hold your bouquet with one hand and your dress’s skirt with the other to avoid tripping; Don’t look down the whole time because your face won’t be as available for photographs, so alternate between looking straight ahead at your partner and then at the ground; when you’re finished, make sure your maid of honor re-fluffs your dress once you’re settled in position.

No matter what you choose, your ceremony should be a reflection of your love and values. It’s less about the circles and more about your hearts!

Noshing At Tiffany’s Styled Shoot — The Wedding

It was important to me, as the producer of Noshing At Tiffany’s, to make sure that in addition to capturing the brilliant details created by the dream team of vendors, that we also create a mock wedding that would not only showcase the beautiful and artistic elements, but also highlight major Jewish traditions that you’d likely see or experience at your Jewish or Jew-ish wedding.

So, let’s take a walk down the aisle together as we watch our models (who are real-life husband and wife!) Runya and Jason get married with their (new) friends, Yana and Jonathan serving as their best man and maid of honor!

It all starts with some portraits of this good looking crew!

Noshing at Tiffany's Styled Shoot

NAT2

NAT3

NAT4

NAT5

NAT6

After portraits, it’s time to sign the ketubah! The ketubah is called Jerusalem Love Tree and is by Anna Abramzon. We love how it’s a modern and whimsical piece of art, but still matches the Tiffany’s blue vintage theme. The couple signed the ketubah and their wedding party served as their witnesses. In real life, remember, your witnesses should be Jewish, non-blood relatives, and don’t forget to use an archival pen, not a Sharpie or Paper Mate.

Noshing at Tiffany's Styled Shoot

NAT8

NAT9

NAT10

Once the ketubah ceremony is finished, it’s time to head over to the chuppah ceremony! Happy Flowers set up and decorated the chuppah in addition to the creative flower duties. Even on a blustery day, the chuppah held up and stood strong! The bride and groom stood under the chuppah together, shared some wine in the kiddush cup, got wrapped in the groom’s tallit, and of course, the big finish was stepping on the glass!

There is so much more that takes place in a real chuppah ceremony, but here we are focusing on some of the photogenic snippets. “Mazel tov” to the “married” (again to each other) couple!

Noshing at Tiffany's Styled Shoot

NAT13

NAT14

NAT15

NAT16

NAT17

NAT18

After the ceremony, it’s time to celebrate! How about some merriment around a stylishly decorated table, brilliantly designed by Cynthia Alexander of An Enlightened Event? We’ve already gushed over the details of the table, but now it’s time to talk about what happens at the table.

Toasts to the bride and groom! Snuggling as “newlyweds!” And Ooooo-ing and Ahhhh-ing over the decor! Yes, this is definitely a brunch party like no other.

Breakfast at Tiffany's Styled Shoot

NAT20

NAT21

NAT22

NAT23

There’s still nothing like a real Jewish wedding and there are plenty more REAL ones in store as The Wedding Yentas receives submissions daily. If you’d like to send your waiting in for review, please email alison @ theweddingyentas dot com for details. I’ll need your wedding photos zipped or sent through Dropbox, a full vendor list with links, and a blurb about the day. Photographers and other wedding pros may also submit via Two Bright Lights.

Producing Noshing At Tiffany’s was a total blast and I’m still pinching myself that this team came together and made this much beauty. Are you inspired to design your own vintage wedding?

Noshing At Tiffany's Styled Shoot

Photographer: Erin Saldana Photography
Venue and Catering: Stonehaus at The Westlake Village Inn
Styled Shoot Designer and Wedding Coordinator: An Enlightened Event
Bride and Bridesmaid Dresses & Accessories: Mill Crest Vintage
Floral Design & Chuppah: Happy Flowers
Event Design and Rentals: Pretty Vintage Table
Tuxedos: Friar Tux
Blue Chocolate Covered Strawberries: Bobalu Berries
Rolls Royce: Classy Chassis
Dessert Topper and Servingware: Bling Diva Designs
Paper Food Cards and Paper Table Number: Fla-de-Dahs
Ketubah: Anna Abramzon Studio
Hair Stylist: Hair of the Bride, Helena Van Zandbergen
Makeup Artist: Sam Salk
Linens: Ventura Rental Party Center

Wonderful Models: Runya Simon, Jason Simon, Yana Ward, Jonathan Bluth