Category Archives: From The Yentas

After I got married, I got sad.

The wedding was over and while I was glowing from becoming a wife to someone who I thought — and still think! — is pretty wonderful, the let down of the end to a great adventure was hovering over me. My wedding planning experience was pretty easy and really fun. All the events, the shopping, the pampering — what girly girl could complain? And the wedding itself was the best day of my life — from start to finish, it went off without a hitch (well, WE got hitched) and it remains the topic of nostalgic conversation among family and friends today.

Eight hours after our wedding, we left for Kauai and Maui for our honeymoon. You know what? Hawaii doesn’t suck. We had an amazing ten days in paradise and came home to a pile of presents to open. That wasn’t too shabby either.

But then, that last present was unwrapped. We noted the gift and the gift giver, threw away the paper, and then… well, then what? Our wedding was really, seriously, totally, officially over. No more fiance. No more bride and groom. Our vendors had already forgotten about us and had worked other weddings and were onto planning the next ones. We were history. Friedmans, who?

Some of you may suffer from the Post Wedding Blues, but I’m living proof today that you get over it. Here are some ideas for helping you reenter society as a married woman and recover from your amazing day and subsequent blues:

• Do something drastic to your hair. No really, it sounds so rebellious and living-on-the-edge (HARDCORE, MAN!), but most likely, you’ve been growing out your hair or maintaining its color specifically for the wedding. Here’s your chance to redefine yourself, physically speaking. Go a darker shade or cut it short. Get bangs. Treat yourself to weekly blowouts. Whatever you decide, know that it’s okay to start over with your best hair forward.
• Join a temple. Not only will it make your bubbie plotz, but you’ll likely meet other young married or almost-married couples who are looking to continue their journey that started under the chuppah together. Most congregations have havurah matchmaking where you can link up with others with similar ages and interests. It could also be a way to shop for married friends. Don’t lie. You know you’ve “joked” about that before.
• Date night, date night, date night. Can’t express how important this is! Okay, so remember how much you planned and looked forward to your wedding? You should enjoy the same anticipation with your new [girl squeal!] husband for a date night! It doesn’t always have to be elaborate. You can have pizza-and-PJs date night, but as long as it’s special time together that’s all about you, that’s all that matters. No distractions. Just you two.
• Enjoy girl time! Go out with your girlfriends and this time, it won’t be about you. Or your bridal shower. Or your cranky Aunt Roz who insists on bringing her new date du jour from Boca to your wedding. The conversation is not wedding-related, but devoted to you and your girlfriends. Newsflash: it’s more than likely that the past year of your wedding planning was also the topic of conversation with your girlfriends. Not that it’s a bad thing, but now it’s time to give up the throne and not make it all about you and regroup your friendship to its core.
• Be a cheerleader! It’s an easy bet that you probably have other friends who are also planning their weddings. Offer advice. Be an open ear. Help them out. Here’s your chance to share your expertise and pass the torch to the next bride in line.
• Travel and make new memories. Plan trips with your loved ones and experience all new adventures that aren’t about weddings! You can plan to climb Machu Picchu or enjoy a day up in wine country. There’s no amount of travel that validates the trip. But a day or two or more away will give you something new and exciting to plan.
• Blog it. It’s free. It’s easy. It’s therapeutic. Start a blog about your wedding planning adventure and discuss your new life as a wife. Not only will it help you find an outlet for your blues, but blogging will also help keep your family and friends in touch with your household. Blog about vacations, new restaurants, home improvements, and, ya know, when the time comes, that double line on your pregnancy test.