Category Archives: From The Yentas

Making It Their Own: My Friend’s Awesome Wedding

I recently attended a beautiful wedding of my friends, Abby and Matt, and the whole event was super impressive, despite my iPhone photos that really don’t do it justice. It wasn’t over the top that I was nauseated by too many fancy-shmancy details, but it was formal and special that the entire ceremony and reception felt like a sacred and magical space. The decor was gorgeous with pastel roses in pinks and creams accompanied by birch branches and silver chargers. Sparkly papers for menus and escort cards added a little shimmer and presentation of food was extremely appetizing and creative. It didn’t hurt that the bride and groom were aching in the cheeks from constant smiles and that the chemistry of the crowd was energetic, supportive, and loving. So from aesthetics to attitude, I give this wedding an A+.

Abby & Matt

Abby & Matt

It really was a fabulous night to witness the beginning of a new chapter in Abby and Matt’s love story.

What was really special about this wedding was that even though the bride and groom followed the traditional blueprint of a Jewish wedding, they also sprinkled their own style, family dynamics, and creative spin on the entire evening. I appreciate that because while all weddings are truly unique since no same couple is under the same chuppah, when they follow a step-by-step How To Jewish Wedding Tutorial, the experience can feel too predictable and therefore, sort of impersonal. My friends’ wedding was the exact opposite of that, and that is why it gets such a rave from this Jewish wedding fangirl.

Don’t worry, the official coverage of the wedding with brilliant-I’m-sure pro photos from Michael Brannigan of David Michael Photography will hit The Wedding Yentas soon enough, but I had to take a premature moment to gush now.

Some of the “so very them” elements:

The bride wore a dress that fit her like a glove, physically and stylistically. It was so beautifully traditional: white with lace in a fit-and-flare cut including an open back and a sweetheart neckline and then… just as you’re like, “Oh, it’s the style of dress I love on every bride,” it became modern with a sheer covering above the sweetheart line up to her neck with a sassy and chic collar edged in matching lace. My amateur iPhone photos don’t do it justice. It was just a gorgeous dress that was just “sooooo Abby” in every way.

Abby & Matt

Abby & Matt

Abby’s sister shared the English interpretation of the Sheva Brachot, the seven blessings. While the Rabbi traditionally recited them in Hebrew, Abby honored her sister with reading these sacred blessings. She was not part of the wedding party, and I thought this was a special way to highlight and honor her sister that’s even more lasting than bridesmaiding. We don’t always hear the English translation of these blessings and it was nice to know what the meanings of the Rabbi’s prayers were. Plus, her sister did an excellent job with a clear and pleasant performance.

Abby and Matt have a big family! With three sets of parents, lots of friends, and a plethora of siblings and cousins, a lot of people spoke on their behalf with toasts! Who doesn’t like toasts? It’s a way to learn a new nugget about the couple or a chance to see a friend shine at the microphone or, hell, it’s a time to drink Champagne so, that’s a good enough reason right there. But the big bad wedding rule book would say that there can’t be too many speeches; that it’s usually a welcome speech by the father of the bride, followed by two more toasts from the Maid of Honor and the Best Man. Well guess what? There were more speeches than that at Abby and Matt’s wedding and it was O.K.! They were well coordinated and placed so that they didn’t take place all at once and were spaced among various courses of the meal. None of them were too long and all of them had a unique angle, and that’s what’s neat about hearing from the parents of the groom, the mother and stepfather of the bride, and the father and stepmother of the groom in addition to siblings and members of the bridal party. And there must be special props to the toast-turned-surprise-group-dance that featured dancing grandmas and cousins with streamers.

Abby & Matt

I’m so happy for my friends and know they’re in for one wonderful adventure together as husband and wife and it all started on the day that they made all about them!

Abby & Matt

Modern Weddings: Hooking Up and On The Grid

No, today’s post is not about a subject involving friends, alcohol, and late night shenanigans. We are finding, though, that modern weddings are hooking up — to the Internet!

Are you and your partner Facebook-a-holics? Did you meet online? Did your proposal require Twitter? These days, it’s not uncommon to see tech savvy couples include social networking and media on their wedding days. If you’re wondering how much is too much or if it’s easy to pull off, keep on reading for some tips and guidelines to, literally, hook up at your wedding.

hooking-up-at-your-wedding

If you have a big bridal party or lots of out-of-town family coming together for the first time in a while, it might be fun to set up an online “tailgate party” for your wedding day. Facebook has a “groups” function and you can set up your own wedding group for those who may want to connect before showing up for the big day. This is also an easy way to communicate to your guests and/or bridal party. Also, your group can chat and get to know each other before they meet IRL (in real life) at your wedding. This ice-breaker style function allows for photo albums and chats just like a personal Facebook page!

For more comprehensive pre-wedding tech, create a wedding website to provide information to your guests, introduce the wedding party, link to your registry, and even receive messages through a guestbook. There are varying versions of wedding websites available, and our favorites are found on MyWedding.com. With a plethora of templates to choose from, you and your partner are in control of what you want to share on the Internet!

hooking-up-at-your-wedding

Now, as far as being a techie on your actual wedding day, you and your posse can be linked in various ways. Have a tech-happy member of the wedding party be your Chief Of Tweet. If someone has a Twitter account, it’s more than appropriate to Tweet about the day’s events.

“11:25 a.m. Makeup artist is here! Sarah is lookin’ hot”
“2:08 p.m. Just arrived at venue – chuppah looks fab & sarah’s crying already”
“5:15 p.m. It’s almost go-time. Sarah’s gonna be a Mrs. in 15 mins!”
“6:00 p.m. Holy wow. these appetizers are delish. Oh and happy bride & groom!”
“7:24 p.m. 1 more drink then it’s MOH speech time. Wish me luck. GULP.”
“9:30 p.m. BOUQUET TIME. It’s all mine ladiessssss”
“11:00 p.m. Happy Honeymoon Sarah and David. Okay, time for afterparty”

You can even let your guests know upon arrival that if they want to Tweet or Instagram about the wedding day as it happens, they can use a common hashtag so that all the Tweets related to the wedding day are bunched together. The hashtag suggestion (#SarahandDavidsWedding or #Oct10SarahDavid or #DandSWedding, etc.) can be noted in the program or on a notice that guests can see as they enter the ceremony space. And while it takes more than 140 characters to describe how simply perfect the day is at every point, the Twitterverse will be lucky to have in-the-trenches updates about each milestone from your nuptials.

Your friends and family who are unable to travel to your wedding will no doubt be disappointed to have to miss the big day. Well, don’t let them! Set up a livestream of the event so that they can attend in their PJs from their living room across the country. They won’t be able to sip your signature drink, but at least they can toast to you as it all happens. Ustream is a site we recommend and all you’ll need is an Internet connection and a camera. With a little prep in advance, this should be cake to set up at your venue. You’ll need to provide a link to your at-home viewers and just like that, your attending list can be global. And if you’re a little weirded out about anyone in the world being able to access your wedding online, you can password protect it and still keep the intimacy of your special day. Is that ridiculously cool, or what?!

In the 90s, THE thing to do for weddings was to provide disposable cameras on each table for guests to document their wedding experience. More than likely, couples would return from their honeymoon and develop half-used film that showed Uncle Larry drunk off his tushie or fuzzy images from little cousins snapping away at anything sans flash. We’re going to go out on a limb and say that not only is this costly (cameras and developing aren’t cheap!) commodity tacky, but it’s passe and irrelevant! Why litter your tablescapes with old fashioned disposable cameras when most of your guests are toting their own digital cameras and documenting the entire day for themselves? So, instead, include a small card on each table that tells guests to upload their digital photos to a common Flickr account so that all the images can be compiled in one place for you and your attendees to view and share. While you wait for your pro pics to come in, it’ll be fun to watch your account grow with your guests’ images and you’ll enjoy seeing the wedding through their point of view.

Lastly, get excited to note your marriage online! And no, that doesn’t mean you can change your name at the DMV’s or Social Security Office’s websites. We’re talking about making your marriage Facebook official. It’s never too soon to change your status from Engaged to Married and bask in the Internet glow of newlywed bliss!

Rain On Your Wedding Day

Happy unofficial winter, folks. It’s dark and cold, and with that weather usually comes the wentess. Oh, rainstorms. It’s like the worst kind of wedding crasher: violent, loud, and soggy. It’s more than possible that couples may have to endure some rain on their wedding day, and even if you know it’s in the forecast and can plan for it at the last minute, it still makes steam come out of your ears because it’s your wedding day and you imported Chilean flamingoes for your tropical beach nuptials! Humpf!

The predictability of winter is safe in some parts (I’m looking at you, East Coast). But Californians can be seen wearing flip-flops in December here and there! The southwest gets cold, but still, it’s the southwest! And Washington, well, you’re always rainy, aren’t you? Overall, wintertime could bring you showers even when you didn’t purposely integrate them in your wedding date, and that can be annoying.

So, The Wedding Yentas is here to be that obnoxious silver lining of positive thinking when all you want to do is mope and eat chocolate and play your miniature violin (which you totally deserve to do). The silver lining? Umbrellas!

Say what?

If rain is in the forecast, have a team meeting with your photographer and venue coordinator so you can plan for the best locations for photos. Then, once you’ve determined your dry photo spots, loop in your photographer for ideas about how to include umbrellas or rain slickers. Fun poses, bright colors, personalized props: modeling on a rainy day does not have to be gloomy. Most likely, people will see your photos and think they’re adorable and memorable instead of cookie cutter or generic. Take that, rain! You will not ruin Kodak moments!

Edyta Photography

KGoodPhoto

Pop Quiz: Beautiful, blooming flowers that have cost you some substantial green love oven-like temperatures with matzah-dry air. True or false? FALSE! So, a damp day with clouds overhead and cool, crisp temps are like hugs and kisses to flowers! Be grateful. Your flowers will last longer and thrive in rainy day weather. Droopy, wilting flowers are never what you want to see, and you probably won’t if there’s a sprinkly sky on the day you’ve chosen to furnish your event with arrangements, bouquets, centerpieces, and a chuppah!

Maybe this is TMI, but I’m a sweaty beast if the sun blasts me for more than five minutes. It’s really not pretty. I went to a wedding a few summers ago, got all dolled up, and looked horrible in photos that I viewed after because I had eyeliner smudged and creamy, white moisturizer dripping down my face. And that was only by cocktail hour! It was a hot, hot day and all my hard work to dress up and look good went to waste. I was just a measly guest, so my appearance didn’t really matter, but if I had been the one getting married, I would have looked like a zombie bride on a day that wasn’t Halloween! So, the point to embarrassing myself and telling you this story: cool weather and wet air means dewy, delicious, moisturized skin! Your makeup will go on beautifully and, even more importantly, it will stay on. Take comfort in knowing that the uglier the weather, the prettier you’ll look!

With shoe shots being a must have photo opp, how cute would rainboots be under your dress? We’ve seen everything from classic wedding shoes to Converse to cowboy boots, so why not a little rubber under your gown? With so many cute prints, you could keep your tootsies dry by splashing in wedding day puddles. Buy them just in case. And if it doesn’t rain on your wedding day then I guess, oh well, you’re stuck with really cute boots to wear when there is a drizzle in the air!

via Kate Miller Events

via Kate Miller Events

Take your rainy wedding day in stride. If you have a smile on your face and you feel relaxed, everyone will be so impressed with the way you’ve accepted the wedding weather with grace. Being called the opposite of Bridezilla has never been a bad thing for anyone’s ego, right?

Rainy days happen. There might be rain on your romantic, tropical honeymoon where you stay in a straw hut or on your 50th anniversary cruise you take with your mahjongg girls and their husbands. There will probably even be figurative rain in your marriage. But the better you weather the storm, the stronger you come out of it. Rain or shine, you’re marrying your love and that’s what matters most because after that “mazel tov!” you two will be glowing brighter than the sun!

Leslee Mitchell Photography

And don’t forget about the Blue Nile gift card that’s up for grabs! Check out the Leave Nothing To Chance app and then get your entry on!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Tuxedo 911: How My Husband Lost His Tux On Our Wedding Night

Mr. Yenta’s Tuxedo
May 25, 2008 – May 25, 2008
Loyal Fancy Suit and Trusted Wedding Costume
RIP

That’s right. Let’s pour a little out for my husband’s wedding tuxedo, which we recently discovered had passed away, most likely, on our wedding night. One wear – and an important one! – but such a short life in Mr. Yenta’s side of the closet.

A few months before our wedding, he purchased his Ralph Lauren (ooo! Fancy!) tuxedo from the tux shop that also outfitted the rentals for the groomsmen. Because he wishes he lived in the world of The Great Gatsby, he wanted to own a tuxedo and to wear it to future formal events. Trouble is, we’re not living out our years at speakeasies and garden parties, so Ralph the Tux wasn’t seeing the light of day.

Finally, four years after our wedding, we would have two formal weddings to attend, giving reason for Husband Yenta to unearth Ralph from the avalanche of work polos and khakis to try on for the upcoming nuptials of our good friends and his sister, events that were happening two weeks apart.

The biggest concern was the elephant in the room: would Ralph still glide right on like butta the way it did on our wedding day or had four years of marital bliss also brought on marital bulge?

Well, friends, you’ll have to stay in suspense because the truth is, we don’t know.

(this is probably a good thing).

(except it’s not because there’s more to this story).

When Mr. Yenta brought Ralph into the light of our bedroom, he noticed that the jacket did not match the pants. The pants were labeled as Ralph as they should, but the jacket was a random, generic name and was accompanied by [gasp!] a bar code!

It’s a little tricky to replay the series of events that took place four years ago after coming off the high of getting married and a perfect night, but we, Mr. and Mrs. Sherlock Holmes, deduced that upon the scurry of gathering up our items at the end of our wedding night, Mr. Yenta’s purchased Ralph Lauren tuxedo jacket got scooped up and piled up with the rentals that the groomsmen were returning the next day. Do not worry, dear ones. The Ralph Lauren tuxedo pants remained on his person.

After a hot and steamy Horah, my dashing groom probably removed his jacket, draped it over a chair, and, never to be worn again, would go back to the rental store from which it was purchased, and live among the coming and going jackets of a lesser caliber. And what my husband took home? One of the groomsmen’s assigned weekend jacket.

Apparently, the tux shop counted units and paid no attention to the labels on the inside of the returned tuxedos. “One, two, three, four? Yup. Got ‘em! Thanks for your business! Mazel tov and ta ta!”

So now the lower half of the Ralph Lauren tuxedo has been orphaned without a buddy. The tuxedo shop has changed its entire scanning system since our wedding five years ago – we checked – and the Ralph is long gone. Once worn. Never forgotten.

The moral of this sad tale that details the demise of an otherwise perfect penguin suit? At the end of your wedding reception, please do make sure your husband leaves with his jacket. Make sure that the groomsmen all leave with theirs. Menswear isn’t exactly too exciting to the naked eye, and it’s too easy for them to be mistaken for similar versions.

As for the two weddings we enjoyed last year? Well, it was just too soon to replace the fallen formalwear. Blame it on sentimentality. Blame it on the left the bottom half of Ralph behind and joined the ranks of the renters. It all worked out and one day, he’ll purchase a new tux, but maybe we’ll settle on something that can’t get mixed up; polka dots or zebra stripe print would really be fun, wouldn’t it?

One Bride Thinks You Are Her Sugar Guesty

Recently, an entertaining, if not horrifying, article went around that I posted on the Facebook page for The Wedding Yentas about a bride who saw dollar signs in the eyes of her guests.

Facebook participation was pretty much all the same from comments like “OMG – who raised this person???” to “So awful.” I think it’s safe to say that Yentas are smart gals.

The article kicked major tushie because one guest, a good, lifelong friend, finally called out the bride on her super crazy antics and I wanted to high-5 her through my computer screen. But a) that would totally ruin my monitor and b) that wouldn’t really help me. So instead, I thought I’d kick it up a notch and take to discussion here about guests and gifts.

The bride in the article basically made presumptuous remarks about receiving oodles of piles of cash in potential wedding cards and later makes a comment to insinuate that individuals should not attend festive events celebrating milestones (showers, weddings, etc.) unless they come with a gift.

crazybride

So, yeah, go splash some cold water on your face and return when you’ve come back to reality.

OK, you’re back and no, you are not dreaming. Or having a nightmare. What you just read is true: this insane woman doesn’t want anyone at her wedding who can’t deliver the green. And that makes me green with nausea.

Look, my husband and I were super thankful for all of our generous guests who brought or sent gifts for our wedding. We received both checks and gifts from our registry and even a few pieces that were personally picked by them for us. Our goal for the wedding day was to celebrate with our favorite family and friends and surround ourselves in their love and support. Their good wishes were valuable; their gifts were nice. Not the other way around.

I know that fellow Yentas are as horrified as I am by this psychotic bride who clearly needs a walk down the aisle… of a mental institution.

If you’re part of the generation that’s currently making your way on the wedding circuit, you’ll know that it’s an expensive year! Gifting is a wonderful thing to do, but it’s really not required. However, it does feel wrong to attend such a milestone empty-handed. Even when I’ve gone to events that specifically said “No gifts please” on the invitation, I’ve broken the rules and still brought a gift because I just can’t arrive with only a hello and a hug. And most showers have the sole purpose of showering the guest of honor with presents relevant to the occasion. So it’s unlikely that we’ll come to an event without a present in tow. The friend who berated the bride in the article knew she couldn’t NOT gift, so she did her best to provide something that came from the heart without breaking her bank. That’s a very appropriate compromise.

So what if you’re tapped out in your wedding gift budget? It’s very simple. Do the best you can. Weddings can be expensive to begin with; sometimes there’s necessary hotel or travel, or there’s a babysitter involved, or you need to buy something new to wear. Then you have to toss a gift into the mix and you’re looking at a very light wallet. That’s a hard pill to swallow, but tell yourself that it’s really true: the thought DOES count! Choosing something that’s at a comfortable price point for you is what’s best for you; and if you choose something off the registry, then the couple still gets what they want and it’s a win-win.

Also, you can choose to purchase gifts from stores that offer savings opportunities. You can get a little more bang for your gift-giving buck. The couple should be glad to receive what they asked for on their registry or what you’ve personally selected for them and it won’t matter if you used a coupon or a promotion.

So as a guest, don’t stress about gifts. You’ll do what you can. And the support, love, and care you give to the couple will be priceless.

And if you’re getting married and you’re looking forward to the gifts, that’s OK! Gifts are fun! Be appreciative and gracious. It’s not about how stocked your cupboards are, but instead how full your heart is.

What’s your take on this article? Do you think the good friend did the right thing? What’s your opinion of the bride?

  • Anonymous says:

    ????????????????C?????v?B???????????????????å??`????å????????????????.??????????????`???????å??`???`???????????`??????å?????o??????????I????????.?????????????????????L??????????????????`??????`?????I????I???????`???????????????????????????????????s40???g????`??????å??????å??????????ä??????????`??????????.???????????T??????????????????????r????o????1????????????1978???????????A?????????`??????å????????.????????å??`???`??????????F??????????????????????