Monthly Archives: August 2012

Should I Invite Kids To My Wedding?

It can be a touchy subject: do you or do you not choose to have kids at your wedding?

Some brides and grooms feel they have to in order to satisfy their guests’ needs. Other couples say “absolutely not.” And then there are those who are open to hosting children and welcome them whole heartedly. There’s no right or wrong answer. It just depends on your venue, your guests, and your personal vision for your wedding.

But still, the subject may come up and you might find yourself in an awkward situation, asking your best friend to get a sitter for her wee ones. Many couples believe that weddings are too formal and should be kept an adults-only occasion. If a guest asks to bring her children, you can simply state that you don’t believe it’s appropriate for them to be there. You don’t have to defend yourself or keep yourself up at night worrying about pleasing people against what’s best for you on your wedding day. Hopefully, your adult guests will understand and respect your wishes. Some guests may indicate that either the kids come, too, or the whole family doesn’t come at all. Well, that’s unfortunate, but everyone has their priorities. So, this would be one of those cases you agree to disagree and continue to enjoy your bridal experience.

To avoid these conversations, you can cover your bases by indicating that your wedding day is an adults-only event on your wedding web site or save the date. You can spread the word via your friends and family, too. Being proactive will help limit these kinds of discussions with guests. It’s always important to let them know that it’s nothing personal; you love their children and you’re not intending to exclude only them. There really shouldn’t be any arguing, but if there is, just apologize and be as graceful as possible.

If you are completely happy to have kids at your wedding then you might want to consider keeping them occupied. Some parents who know their kids might get too wired or conk out early will (hopefully) (usually) leave the kids at home anyway. However, for those who still bring them per their invitation, it might be helpful to spend a few extra bucks at the dollar store to supply a “safe” kids area. Coloring books and crayons, some picture books, and maybe even disposable cameras will help to keep the children happy and occupied while their parents enjoy a nice night out at your wedding. This also helps the kids stay busy with appropriate activities. As much as you may not mind them dancing their tushies off on the dance floor, you don’t want to discover that they’ve made mummies of themselves with toilet paper in the restroom or that they’ve experimented with cocktail napkins inside lit votive candles.

You may also consider providing a kids menu for their meals. This should be at a lower cost than your regular adult dinners, and satisfy the kids’ bellies. Win-win! No kid would say no to pasta or chicken fingers. Actually, there are probably some adults who would enjoy that meal, too!

It’s your wedding day and it’s up to you to make these decisions. Never feel obligated to change your rules because of resistance from guests. Those who love you and respect you will understand and attend your wedding with smiles plastered on their faces like kids in a candy store.

  • Jessica says:

    What’s the best/most respectful way to indicate that children aren’t allowed on the invites?

  • Alison - The Wedding Yentas says:

    The addressees on the envelope *should* be the first clue: “Mr. and Mrs. Joe Shmo” indicates no children, just the husband and wife. If you’re unsure that that’s just tooooo subtle, you the invitation could read “Adult Reception to Follow” but that’s almost a little TOO heavy hitting. In that case, provide an insert for information about the reception and include on it: “Adults Only Reception To Follow” with the details of the reception (address, a map, dress code). Make sure it’s also noted on your save-the-date and web site.

  • Angel says:

    – Love the photo of the shoes! It reminds me of a frnied (the groom) who when kneeling at the alter, his “friends” had unknowingly put “HELP ME” on the soles of his shoes I like “I DO” much better:)July 30, 2011 5:15 pm

Real Jewish Weddings | Skokie, IL

Jason and Kathy’s ceremony was rich with tradition, beginning with the Kabbalat Panim, the pre-nuptial receptions for men and women. Jason joined the men for the signing and reading of the tena’im, which was celebrated by toasts and singing and the mothers breaking a plate (representing the finality of the tena’im). The men then proceeded down the hall for the Badeken, led by Jason and the fathers and singing joyously the whole way. Jason made his way to Kathy, who was seated on an ivory throne and surrounded by the mothers and grandmothers. Jason placed the veil over a very happy blue-eyed bride. The ceremony was kicked off by the entrance of these two adorable flower girls. Kathy followed down the aisle to meet her parents and move forward to Jason, waiting patiently in his kittel under the chuppah. Once she reached him, she circled him several times, creating a symbolic wall around him and then joining him inside. At the conclusion of the kiddushin and nisu’in, Jason stomped and shattered the glass to the many well wishes of Mazal Tov!

Jason and Kathy entered the reception to what can only be described as merry chaos. The dance floor was separated into men and women by the mechitzah and was so packed you could barely see the tops of the divider. There were props, pyramids, 4-man push-ups, and the most amazing sight ever: a guest handed Jason and Kathy mini-marshmallows on sticks, lit a fire in his hat, and invited them to roast their marshmallows out of his hat. Incredible.

Mazel tov, Kathy and Jason!

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Venue: Skokie Valley Agvdath Jacob Synagogue
Photography: Joshua Albanese Photography
Flowers: ArtQuest LTD
Bridal Gown: Liz Fields
Hair/Makeup Artist: Leesi B. Cosmetics
Rabbi: Rabbi Reuven Gross
Band: Nefesh Orchestras
Catering: Danzinger Kosher Catering
Photobooth: Shutterbooth

Photos submitted via editorial partner Two Bright Lights.

Real Jewish Weddings | Charleston, SC

Elana and Ben are college sweethearts who were married at the historic Kahal Kadosh Beth Elohim where they did one of the sweetest first looks in the history of first looks: it was around the historic doors where they held hands, got a peek, and then went full force first-looking.

After their beautiful ceremony, the two partied the night away at the renowned Charleston restaurant, McCrady’s. The food was incredible, and Ben and Elana invited their guests to write their wishes for the couple on beautiful river stones, and sent them off with fresh dried tea leaves. Ben and Elana did a sparkler departure down the brick alley before taking off in a Black Cab!

Mazel tov, Elana and Ben!

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Event Venue & Caterer: Kahal Kadosh Beth Elohim
Photographer: Reese Moore Weddings
Hair Stylist: Stella Nova
Floral Designer: Jade Water Designs
Reception Venue: McCrady’s
Dress Designer: Enzoani
Bridesmaid Dresses: Nordstrom

Photos submitted via editorial partner Two Bright Lights.

Modern Sparkly Table Shoot by Yasmin Khajavi Photography

There’s nothing I swoon over more than a photo shoot of a tablescape. Sure, the subjects don’t pose and smile, but boy do they inspire! Absolutely loving this blush, cream, and champagne color palette that is both romantic and warm with just the right sprinkle of feminine. The textured and fluffy floral arrangements suggest playful elegance while details like ghost chairs and lucite labels for drinks and table numbers bring a modern and sophisticated vibe to the mix.

This tablescape could definitely work for any event location whether it’s a country club, urban space, or rustic venue. And it doesn’t only work for weddings! The style can be woven into showers for both baby and bridal, anniversary shin digs, and birthday festivities. Nothing is too wedding-ish that it can’t work for other celebrations that are worth showcasing beautiful and carefully designed details! So get party planning!

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From Yasmin Khajavi Photography: When Hailey Bernstein and Astrid Mueller, both contemporary creatives with a shared love of fashion and modern design, put their heads together, amazing things were bound to happen. For this styled shoot, they envisioned a fashion-forward, style-savvy couple planning the ultimate modern loft celebration. The look is clean-chic but full of warmth with soft, feminine sparkle. Hailey and Astrid decided on a light, neutral palette — tans, champagnes and mixed metallics with hints of blush and ivory. The light, breezy colors soften and brighten the raw loft space, offering a neutral canvas for some fun, fashionable and uber-chic details.

Sequin linens added unexpected glamour and sparkle, emphasizing the clean table lines yet luxurious texture. We alternated between tan sequin linens for tables, and tan and white chevron sequin linens for standing bistros, which brought extra variety and interest to the space. We designed a laid-back, yet luxurious tablescape with an abundance of soft and fluttery peonies, mixed metallic mercury glass votive holders, mirrored vases and tons of floating candles for ambiance. For the menus, table number and design pieces, illustrator Astrid Mueller, normally known for her delicate, fashion-inspired illustrations, took an abstract design approach and worked with minimalistic, circular design elements, inspired by architecture and the round shape of peonies. She devised a new, unique idea for this celebration design by introducing personalized, laser-engraved, perspex drink disks for the seating and cocktails. She also chose to create cool, urban-inspired but lavishly-printed stationery, lush and soft to the touch. The menus were artisan-printed and hand-debossed by Digby & Rose, creating a beautiful architectural effect. All details and were beautifully captured by the contemporary, Portland-based photographer Yasmin Khajavi.

Photography: Yasmin Khajavi Photography
Photo Shoot Venue: Castaway Portland in Portland, Oregon
Styling, Tablescape, Floral + Event Design: Zest Floral and Event Design
Invitation Design + Engraved Perspex Design Details: Astrid Mueller
Stationery Printing: Digby & Rose
Linens: La Tavola
Ghost Chairs, Table Settings + Glassware Rentals: West Coast Event Production

  • Astrid Mueller says:

    Dear Alison,
    Thanks so much for featuring our styled shoot – I’m honored about your kind feedback, and to be published on your beautiful blog!
    Warmly,
    Astrid

Texas Engagement Shoot by Knotting Hill Photography

Mallory and John incorporated their own personal style — from rustic chic to evening glam — in this Texas-based engagement shoot captured by Knotting Hill Photography. Take note: the variety of photos offers many options for engagement photos usage. There’s casual, playful love surrounded by nature and sophisticated flirtation in swanky, metropolitan locations.

Where will you be taking your engagement photos? Consider different locations! The background of your photos is like a third character in your images so it’s really important to give it some serios thought. Well, played, Mallory and John!

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Photos submitted via Two Bright Lights!